Archive for October, 2017

I have read many articles about Christian dating.

Believe me, I am a hopeless romantic. I have lost count how many times I have watched Seven Brides for Seven Brothers and I still become giddy when Emma Woodhouse finally realizes she loves Mr. John Knightly.

Just this morning I was reading another article about Christian dating and you know what came to mind? I reflected on some of the best dating advice I have ever received. It went something like Hebrews 12:1-2, “Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

The best dating advice I have ever received:



My Mom deserves a shout out here. There have been many times when I go to someone else instead of my Mom because I know she isn’t going to gush with me about the young men I meet. Rather, she is going to genuinely point me back to Jesus. Even though I roll my eyes, my Mom counsels me in the most loving way I could ever be advised. Thanks Mom! ❤

The older I become, God’s grace becomes sweeter. The outpouring of His lovingkindness is incomprehensible. His light shines in the darkness. And yet, I still turn the other cheek, turning away from Christ’s adventurous pursuit for my heart. I ignore, hide, and distract myself until I become a teary-eyed pity party of self-centeredness. It’s super attractive, I know (sarcasm added).

PRAISE THE LORD that even in our mess, He loves us. Because of the blood of Jesus, God the Father compassionately looks at you and me sympathizing in our weakness (Hebrews 4:15).


All that to say, as a young single woman who has committed her life to Jesus, please do not tell me anymore stories about how your granddaughter snatched up that nice Christian man once she became content in her singleness.

I need you to tell me about Jesus. I need you to remind me about the Lord’s faithfulness. I need you to listen, rather than continue preaching cliché Christian dating tips. Pray with us when we feel inadequate and lost in the unknowns of young adulthood. In humble vulnerability, I need you to share with me that marriage is beautiful, but it isn’t always a sunny walk in the park. I need you to lovingly remind me that our marriage status doesn’t define our identity. I need you to share your life with me in authenticity, including some of the times when you and your spouse fail each other. I need you to encourage me in my unique gifting’s, reminding me about the multitudes that yearn to hear the name of Jesus. I need you to pray that I will taste and see the Lord’s goodness. I need you to encourage me in the Truth of the Gospel.

I need you to tell me to fix my eyes on Jesus.

In some circles, a godly marriage with three kids in the suburbs has subtlety become idolized as a church body, bringing distress to Christian singles… “I’ve tried the dating thing, am I not worthy enough? Am I not adequate unless I am married?”

I may just be speaking for a select group of singles, but I also know I am not alone in this response. Please, for the sake of Christ’s name and His love for you and me, talk to us about Jesus, not about this “perfect” person you met at your church last week.

On the other hand, I also believe the Lord uses people in our lives to bring about a marriage between two people who love the Lord. Just also know, I do not want to marry a “nice, Christian man”. If the man you want to set me up with isn’t absolutely passionate about the Gospel and the nations coming to know the gracious love of our Savior, he isn’t worth my time.

When it comes down to it, yes, I long to be married. But, by God’s grace, I have also experienced the unfathomable riches of His love. And through the Holy Spirit’s supernatural work in my heart, I want Jesus more than marriage. There are people starving and thirsting to hear about the Gospel. Encourage me in that pursuit, and let us do life together fighting for Jesus’ Name to be made known.


Naomi Rose

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