Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘friend’

 

IMG_9003

Camel Pose!

This morning I sat in church tearing up out of awed gratitude.

Matt Chandler interviewed Jeff and Cheryl Scruggs about the testament of God’s faithfulness in their marriage and their story reminded me about how faithful God has been in my life over this past year.

Those of you who have experienced or have had a loved one experience the cloud of clinical depression, you know how dark and grueling the cloud is. The cloud enslaves your inner world and you are trapped inside a shadow of indescribable sadness, where hope seems unreachable. The person you once knew disappears and you wonder if you will ever be yourself again. Days and nights I cried wondering where “Naomi” went? Where did the joy go? Where is God in the darkness? I need saving, because I am confused, scared, angry, and sad.

I can now honestly say that for the past few weeks I have been feeling normal and the cloud of depression is not hovering anymore. My life has been on pause for about 11 months and I am thoroughly excited to have the stamina to begin committing to various activities again. Yes, I am still in counseling, taking two different anti-depressants, eating nutritiously, staying active, attempting to sleep at least 8 hours each night, and trying to keep in mind my social energy so I don’t spread myself too thin. I also do not know what the future holds, and I may have another breakdown in the years to come. However, for now, I feel fantastically Naomi. I feel like myself again. And I feel free. No, that does not mean I am chipper every single second or that all fears have passed away. But, the dark cloud which hovered for a number of months is no longer shading me from the sunny days and new blossoms.

This past Spring I participated in a Bible Study with the women in my home group and we studied the book of 1 Peter. The verses which stood out to me then also continues to stand out to me now as a reminder of God’s faithfulness over the past year.

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. Once you were not a people, but now you are God’s people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.” 1 Peter 2:9-10

As children of God, Jesus sacrificed Himself on the cross for our sins and brought us into the Light of His Life. Similarly, God has used depression in my life as an illustration of the Gospel, bringing me out of the darkness and into His marvelous light.

IMG_8996

Working on my Mermaid pose!

Even though I am currently feeling fantastically Naomi, depression is tricky and every individual battles with this mental illness a little bit differently. Plus being a human being with lots of emotions can be confusing. Who knows, tomorrow something may occur and my depression is triggered. Yet, Matthew 6:34 reminds me not to let tomorrow be a worry. So, I will end it here sharing with you how free I am now feeling after being under the bondage of depression, something which I never expected to experience.

 God is faithful in the midst of the cloudy and the sunny.

How is God working in your life?

 

 

 

Advertisements

Read Full Post »

It Takes Courage To Grow Up And Become Who You Really Are // E. E. Cumings

The other day Abigail and I met up for creamy, delicious Gelato. We sat at a little metal table knowing there was much to talk about. Nonetheless, we were silently content in each other’s company as we ate our Gelato and people watched. I told her my camera was in the car, and asked if she wanted to go to the top of the parking garage to snap some photographs. She happily complied.

Abigail 8

Naomi 5 Abigail 7

Naomi 15

I don’t know about you, but I forget who I am.

Abigail 9

Naomi 3 Abigail 1

I have the tendency of being caught up in what people may think of me…

Dwelling on what other’s think, you sometimes forget who you are.

Confusion springs up as you try to remember what exhilarates your heart.

Abigail 3Naomi 2

Abigail 5

Naomi 4

Doris Day, Frank Sinatra, Nat King Cole, and Judy Garland play through my iPhone speakers as I sit here editing photographs.

My window is open, a candle is lit, and my ball cap sits on top of my braided hair. I like tonight. Tonight is me.

Abigail 10 Naomi 6 Abigail 4

Naomi 12

I dislike forgetting.

I like who God made me.

I forget all too often.

{This is my “gangsta” pose. Enjoy.}

Naomi 8

Read Full Post »